Dec 302010
 

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?” He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a “recreational area”, so close to waste treatment facility.

I’m sorry, but due to Obama Care, they turned me down.”

May 312010
 

Here is another great joke from my email inbox.  It would be funnier if it was NOT so true!

Over 5000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel…“Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.”

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel. This is the “promised land.”

Now, Obama has stolen your shovel, …taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the “promised land!”

Mar 312010
 

Another email joke that hits way too close to the truth:

Over 5000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel…“Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.”

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel. This is the “promised land.”

Now, Obama has stolen your shovel, …taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the “promised land!”

Feb 102010
 

Another cute little life lesson received via email:

I recently asked my friend’s little  twelve year old girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She  said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her  parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would  do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless  people.’ Her parents beamed.

‘Wow…what a  worthy goal’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re  President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the  lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy  hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a  new house.’

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she  looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘Why doesn’t the homeless  guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the  $50?’

I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican  Party.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to  me.